I joined a book club a few months back and this was our recent reading. I have to admit that when I first heard what we were reading I was a little nervous, not sure if I could emotionally handle it. for those of you not familiar with the story line of Randy Pausch I'll give you a brief synopsis. Randy is a 47 year old man who was diagnosed with cancer. He was only given three to six months of good health. He had a wonderful wife and three small children ages five, two and one. He had the opportunity to give a last lecture at the college he had been a professor at and then turned that lecture into a book. I was already familiar with his last lecture when I started reading the book so I knew that it was more inspiring than it was sad. I really enjoyed reading this and must say I learned A LOT. It helped put things into perspective and made me want to be a better mother. I found myself laughing at times and not ONCE, until today that is, did I shed a tear. When I woke up this morning I only had the last section of the book to read. But it was those last 15 pages that really tore me up. He talks about his dreams for his children and for his wife. I could not help but think of how lucky his children are to have this legacy he has left behind for them. I'm sure the fact that I just finished reading this book on the fifteenth anniversary of my own fathers death did not really help matters. I can not believe he has been gone that long. Life has gone on and I really truly am happy. I've gotten through it and moved past it. But that does not change the fact that it still hurts at times. Every year as this date rolls around I'm sure I won't remember, life's to busy. Right?!? But every year whether I want to or not I do remember. But this year I have a different perspective on it, thanks to this book. My dad may not be here and I may not have a book that he left behind for me. But I have my memories, and my stories that I can and should be sharing with my own family. This morning I was putting some things away that my children had made me for mothers day. As I went and put them in my box I noticed a project I had done when I was in sixth grade. I opened it up and out dropped a letter my dad had written me. It was titled "why Summer is a wonderful person to know". Of all days to stumble across that...I can not tell you how much that letter meant to me, to have something that I had forgotten that he had left behind for me. This book, the last lecture, has given me a new direction. Instead of dwelling on the fact that my father is not here and that some day, I to will die and leave my children, I am going to celebrate life. I am going to celebrate how lucky I am to be a mother. How lucky I am to have my children to love and to hold. How lucky I am to have time, time to leave a legacy behind that hopefully, someday when I am gone, my children will be honored to say I was their mother. Today I am going to celebrate my dad's life. I am going to go dust off the book that I have hidden in the basement that holds all the precious stories and pictures of my dad. I am going to be sure to let my children know what a wonderful man he was and is! And so I'm on my way to the store. I now need a cake, a chocolate cake. What kind of a celebration would it be without cake!?! I LOVE YOU DADDY!!
6 comments:
I am crying just reading your post, I don't know if I can make it through that book, although someone else also recommended it to me.
I hope you have a great day remembering and sharing those memories with your children. I hope you can stay more happy and positive then sad. Your dad is so proud of you, I'm sure.
You're making me cry Summer! But that is a good reminder to cherish your family while you have them. I can't believe it's been 15 yrs. I think you need some ice cream with the cake too! :)
Okay, so I am crying...Your Dad was a wonderful Dad. I remember when I wrecked your car. He was so nice to me. He was hilarious as well. I still remember that phone call 15 years ago. My heart broke for you and your family.
Now to look back on all that has transpired it is a wonderful honor you all have given him. You are such a wonderful wife and mother. I would have to say that I am pretty sure he is awful proud of you. I wish I could come and celebrate his life with you.
Summer I hope you know that I love you. I am amazed at all you have done with your life. YOu are such an example to me of strength and love. Thank you for that. Sorry, I really am being a dork. I just want you to know that I too will be thinking about your Dad today. And remembering all the good times.
tears all around - what an amazing story... makes me want to write my kids all a touching note TODAY.
and to read that book... I was putting it off, but I guess I need it :)
Summer you are such a star. I have always admired you a great deal, and I am just in even more awe of you.
Erik's mom passed away when he was 19, so I never had the chance to meet her, and our children never will. Every year on November 17th (her birthday) we celebrate. I make one of her best recipes, bake a cake and we have ice cream and I have Erik get out pictures and he tells us all stories about her. It makes me look forward to meeting her after this life, and I am grateful the kids and I can feel a little closer to her, and a little closer to Erik.
K so I wasnt crying until I read all the comments. I've never heard of that book, but I guess I'll have to read it.
Every year I always think that maybe Ill forget about Dad too so I won't have a rough day. But I tried the same approach as you! Kate and I had a wonderful day. We went to the cemetary (first time for Kate!) and she had a ball!
I know Dad is so proud of all of us and all the accomplishments we've made. Your such a wonderful mother and your kids and Jason are so lucky to have you around!
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